I’m glad you’re here. There’s something I’d love to share with you.
We are the ones we have been waiting for.
- June Jordan
I wonder what that line means to you?
I find it compelling and inspiring. Compelling because it reminds me of the journey I’m on to discover how to live as my true self aligned to my values and in service of others; inspiring because it forms a thread through everything I do as a coach and personal development teacher.
I am dedicated to helping you overcome your doubts and fears
so you can live an authentic life aligned with your deepest values.
Things fall apart
Modern life exerts huge pressures on us to conform, fit in and play a role. Indeed it frequently rewards these behaviours. In order to comply however most of us suppress at least part of who we truly are.
My own experience, and that of loved ones, friends, colleagues and coaching clients, is that this division with self, this separation from who we truly are, sooner or later causes us and those around us great pain.
As the poet Rumi wrote: “If you are here unfaithfully, you are causing terrible damage.”
Maybe you’re reading this because you too have become at odds with or disconnected from your true self. Maybe you too are experiencing the ‘terrible damage’ Rumi speaks of.
If so, chances are you will resonate with one or more of the following:
- Playing a role, wearing a mask, pretending, playing small
- Feeling fraudulent (“It’s only a matter of time before they find me out.”)
- Being driven by ‘habit’ energies (perfecting, proving, performing or pleasing)
- Lacking fulfillment (“Is this it?”, “There must be more to life than this?”)
- Feeling that something important is missing (“Why do I feel hollow and empty?”)
- Comparing yourself to others, frequently and unfavourably
- Experiencing low self-confidence, self-esteem
- Feeling out of place or trapped in a role or a situation
- Holding back from making changes because of fear or doubt
- Longing to express more of your gifts and talents
- Fearing you will not realise your full potential
- Experiencing anxiety, over-exertion, depression, frustration, resentment, anger, exhaustion, burn out in relation to your work
You’re not alone
Trust me. You’re not alone. I know just how draining and damaging these ‘symptoms’ are because I’ve experienced them myself.
Through my coaching and personal development work I’ve also helped many men and women find their way out of the same disempowering, exhausting wilderness.
We humans can tolerate a lot. Many of us live with the frustrations, doubts, longings, anxiety and other very real forms of pain described above for a long time.
We supress these feelings, ignore them or seek to numb out the confusion and distress they cause with any of the great many distractions available to us.
The problem is, these distractions don’t work. Sooner or later we pay a heavy price for living crosswise with ourselves – and so do those whom we know, love, parent or lead.
As leading sociologist and TED heroine Brené Brown says:
“…you cannot selectively numb emotion. You can't say, here's the bad stuff.
Here's vulnerability, here's grief, here's shame, here's fear, here's disappointment.
I don't want to feel these…when we numb those, we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness.
And then we are miserable, and we are looking for purpose and meaning, and then we feel vulnerable…
and it becomes this dangerous cycle.”
I’m not judging us in this for a minute; I just can’t sit by and watch it happen.
Not on my watch
My mission is to help you reconnect with your inner leader - your true self -
so that you can become the best you can be.
I believe the work of Brené Brown and others is pointing to a huge, huge problem in our time and I want to be a part of the solution.
Choosing to live authentically, aligned with our highest values, is a radical act. It is bold, daring and at times deeply challenging. It is also courageous and I believe imperative if we wish to heal ourselves and the damaged world we live in.
We are the ones
I believe that regardless of our role in life, we each have an ‘inner leader’ or true self, a deep-seated well-spring of clarity, courage, compassion and wisdom within us, perhaps what Lincoln had in mind when he spoke of “the better angels of our nature”.
And in my experience, when we reconnect with our true self, wonderful things happen:
- We begin to accept ourselves, flaws and all, for what we are – works in progress
- We resist the impulse to perfect, please, prove or perform
- We stop pretending, hiding and playing small
- We find the courage to live from our hearts as well as our heads
- We recognise our fear, doubt, anxiety and judgement for the burdens they are, and seek to let them go
- We recognise the same burdens in others and meet them with greater compassion
- We develop self-compassion, courage and greater confidence that we are enough
- We choose to live aligned with our deepest values and by so-doing experience greater joy, meaning, purpose and fulfilment
- We become happier in ourselves and find we have more to give in service of others, of our work, relationships, parenting and leadership
In short, we flourish. And as we do, we inspire and empower others around us to flourish as well.
What I want for you
- I want to help you overcome your fears and doubts and live from a place of wisdom, confidence and compassion knowing that you are enough.
- I want to help you mine all of your gifts and talents and bring more of what encourages and inspires you into your work and wider life.
- I want you to live a purposeful, fulfilling life from a place of integrity, confidence and ease.
Work with me to discover who you are and what
you can do at your most powerful.
Become the one you’ve been waiting for.
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